mottlemoth:

Moth [with whistle]: Okay, Team Excultus! Dead easy task for you. We need to smooth this transition here, so I want to insert a short staff meeting scene.

Greg and Mycroft: Right.

Moth: Now remember, this happens before you’re all over each other again.

Greg and Mycroft: Right.

Moth: So you have to act like you’re all awkward and uncomfortable.

Greg and Mycroft: Right.

Moth: That means no cuddling. No flirting. No touching of any kind. Right?

Greg: Yeah, thanks. I think we know how this works by now.

Moth: Okay, okay. Just to remind you. So you guys get going with that, and I’ll just be over here to… what are you doing?!

Mycroft: Adjusting his shirt collar!

Moth: Why???

Mycroft: It’s crooked! He must be smart for the staff meeting.

Moth: I SAID NO TOUCHING.

Mycroft: BUT WE ARE MARRIED.

Moth: NOT FOR ANOTHER TWO NOVELS. PUT HIM DOWN.

GVB: If you kept touching him, though, you could get some stunning sexual tension going just – so easily. So easily.

Moth: What the –

GVB: *putting one finger delicately to Moth’s lips* Don’t listen to her. You never do anyway, and look how well that turned out. Everything was fine in the end.

Greg: So what you’re saying is –

GVB: Yes. You guys know better.

GVB: And if you adjust his collar a bit more, and Greg, you bat your big beautiful brown eyes at him – I’m just saying. There’s a broom cupboard right over there. No-one’s going to notice if you’re five minutes late to a staff meeting.

Mycroft: Five minutes –

Moth: Five min –

GVB: *covering Moth’s mouth with a palm*

Moth: *wrenching palm off face* You don’t understand, when they get going it’s never –

Greg: *smugly* Yeah, really not.

Mycroft: *smirking* I did think that was a little…

Greg: We could just push the meeting back a bit. No-one’d mind.

Moth: *staring at GVB* You did this. You did this.

GVB: *sweetly, running for the hills* Enjoy the cupbooooard –

softlygasping:

tworidiculousmen:

sometimes they end up wondering what would have happened if they hadn’t met, like if they’d just continued their lives so close to each other but without meeting. they probs come immediately close to intensely crying and look for each other to sit really really close on the couch and make up an excuse like watching a movie so that they can end up dozing off so close with a blanket covering them both and john resting his head against sherlock’s shoulder and sherlock’s head softly resting on john’s. while they’re falling asleep they end up reaching for each other’s hand and end up falling sleep smiling very gently and feeling so safe and relieved

but if they actually didn’t meet that day for whatever reasons you know John probs would’ve used his gun on himself and sherlock would’ve died cause both of the pills were poisoned, would’ve died on the same night if they hadn’t met!!!