thepurplecarbuncle:

what if sherlock and john are undercover in a gay bar and men keep flirting with sherlock and they’re in there for like 10 minutes and sherlock gets eight phone numbers on serviettes and a rose and a 20 pound note for some reason and obviously john is fuming in the corner the entire time but he pulls himself together and when they get home he carefully broaches the subject and asks if sherlock is going to text.. one of those men??… maybe?? and sherlock just gives him a look and groans and bins all the serivettes with the phone numbers instantly, and flops down on the couch like “john. i must be doing something wrong. i’m giving off the wrong signals. even when i’m trying to be transparent, people are too stupid to figure me out! the world is too simple, too moronic, it truly is a burden, and those men were no different” and john thinks aaahh now he’s going to tell me that he’s straight and really into irene adler and how ridiculous it is that all those men thought he was gay so, eloquent as he is, he says. “what” and sherlock just buries his face in his hands, then looks up and says, “john. in what universe do i look like a top?”